Seeing Changes

It’s been a long day. I arrive at the end and I didn’t take any pictures today so, I give you a quote I’ve been reminding myself of each day. 

I’ve been made to feel like I’m doing too much of that (not by anyone in this group!) so I felt a little self-conscious and didn’t take them. As strong as I am now, it’s still a bit hard to shake the negative feelings that come with someone you love not being happy about how you’re changing. Of course, ultimately all that matters is that I’m happy with myself and being the best I can be, but any type of negativity can be stifling, no matter how strong you are, especially when they come from a close source. 

The new instructor was at the pool today. She will be heading up Monday and Friday classes. She is younger and very friendly, but the workout was definitely not the same. Nothing about me felt worked out other than my balance. It felt more like a “How Not to Fall” class than aerobics. So, on her days, I’ll be heading to the gym early to bike and do a machine circuit and use the pool more like an hour-long cooldown stretch I suppose. I did make a new friend today, Amanda. I told her about this group and how amazing it has been. Who knows, maybe she will turn up in here eventually! 

Today lacked a certain luster I’ve grown accustomed to. I wanted to add it in somehow. So I got to work on making a logo for my blog. It’s actually turning out to be incredibly cool. I’ll have it professionally digitized after, because I have no idea how to use photoshop and always have to draw everything by hand. I’m really excited for it though! 

The reality of how much I’m shrinking really hit me today. Turned sideways in the mirror, I was left kind of speechless by how much smaller my chest is, the definition coming into my waist and sides, how much clearer my skin is. My last professional bra fitting was about a year after my daughter was born. I was a 54 I at that time. And I gained about 30 more pounds after that so I’m sure they grew a bit more too. I’m going to go get a fitting next week just to see how much smaller they are, but I think I’m closer to an F now. It’s a huge difference. Hell, my nipple doesn’t even point to the floor anymore! 

I’m ending the day a little low but nothing I won’t bounce back from. I’ve come too far to let anything keep me down. I’m going to watch some Resi replays and then get some sleep. The plan for tomorrow is to hit the gym and get home before anyone else wakes up so I can get my daughter’s art corner organized for some projects I want to do with her this week. 

I hope you all have an amazing weekend.