Sweat and Turning Up

First sweaty selfie coming up! What a day!

The plan was to go to the outdoor pool today after my appointment. Well, my recently reunited dear Aunt said no, you’re going to be cramping, bloating, miserable and sick this morning instead. I don’t like her, I didn’t miss her, and she can get lost real quick. Anyway, I was determined to get my workout in despite missing water aerobics. After some self-treatment for my woes, I packed my gym bag and called my grandma to tell her I was going to go to the gym and just do whatever I could on machines. She happily came along.

When we joined the gym two weeks ago, I could barely last 5 minutes on the bike because it hurt my hip so badly. And as far as how much weight I could do reps with.. it was pathetic. So, I didn’t know what to expect going in there today, I just knew I was going to give it all I could. After figuring out how that blasted recumbent bike at this new location worked, and the two minutes of side glances to see if the others were using it the same way, I realized I wasn’t suffering yet. I was suffering by now two weeks ago. Five minutes rolled around, and I didn’t even hesitate to keep going. At 10 minutes, the little talking rectangle, that I later realized was a face after I wiped the sweat out of my eyes, told me I had done great cardio. At that point, I was at half a mile. Instead of watching the time, I started watching my distance. I was doing a mile. “Unless Jesus comes for me, I’m going to hit a mile today!” I cranked up the level and gave it everything I had. And when I hit that mile mark, I know anyone within ten feet heard me laugh. Such an amazing feeling to have come so far in only two weeks.

My hip ached but it wasn’t bad at all. If I hadn’t been planning to do a machine circuit after, I would have kept going but I needed to save some pain for the weights. That first gym visit two weeks ago, I could barely handle any weight on the machines. 10s and 20s on everything and I struggled to get through two reps of everything. Today, I was at double or more those weights and did THREE reps of every single machine. Even that dreaded shoulder press that has been my arch nemesis since my first expedition to a gym nearly 15 years ago. I hobbled back to the lobby after I was finished and sat in the AC for a few minutes before I headed to the car. I felt incredibly shy about it, but I took the damn picture, right there in the middle of the lobby. Red, sweaty and catching my breath, I couldn’t stop smiling. I impressed myself. If not for nearly collapsing in the parking lot from the uphill walk to the car in 102 degree weather, I would have left that place with more self-esteem than I’ve ever had. Though I did learn a valuable lesson about not forgetting my inhaler. I haven’t used it in ages because I haven’t gotten my heart rate that high or worked my lungs that hard in years. The inhaler is now tucked inside my gym bag!

I shuffled into the house and took a shower. I was sore, the good kind of sore! That all-over dull ache and random throbbing that is your muscles saying, “we did a thing.” And it felt, and still feels damn good. When I came back into the living room, my daughter was watching some K-pop music video she saw her dad watching and fell in love with. I was listening to the lyrics. “All I’ll ever know is life upon a throne…what’s higher than the top, that’s me.” And I just decided to adopt it as my theme song, ha! That’s how I’m going to treat myself from now on.

Nothing is going to hold me back but myself, and we are on each other’s side now.

Now if you will excuse me, I’m going to crawl in my comfy bed and dream about outshining grandma tomorrow.