Blown Away

Anyone want to buy a husband with a peculiar talent for imitating a howler monkey in the middle of the night? Actually, you know what? He’s free to a good home. Just send your vet references. I was awoken by this nonsense at 2:30 this morning. I tried to fall asleep again, but it was a lost cause. I glared at him as I approached, his face akin to a deer staring into headlights, ready for his world to end. I stopped just short of his chair, raised my hand, and gave him a quick Gibbs-style thwack to the back of the head and then kissed him good morning. There was a time when he would rightly have been fearing for his life, when disruption, especially waking me from sleep, would have been devastating to me. But no more. I’m happy to wake up alive, happy to start my day, and eager to face challenges. My mind is stronger than that now.

During my usual breakfast in the car, I saw Atossa’s post, and it made me feel so encouraged and pumped for the day. I hearted and responded to comments before I went in to get in the pool. I did my workout, managed to hurt my chest again (so much for being healed!), and decided to leave after 2 1/2 hours because I didn’t want to make it any worse. But I spontaneously tackled something I haven’t had the courage to yet. I was talking with Amanda as I was getting out and I looked over to the ladder next to the pool ramp. I squinted my eyes and darted them at her. “Maybe today. Should I?” She, of course, knew exactly what I meant. “Do it girl. You’re strong now!” she encouraged me! Between my weight, a weak leg and a teensy amount of self-consciousness, I’ve been afraid of falling if I tried to use the ladder, because it starts halfway up the sides so heaving my body onto the first step has been such a daunting prospect to me, let alone trying to finish the other steps with a bum leg. I looked back at the ladder. “You’re right!” and off I went.

I didn’t hesitate, I just pulled myself straight out, right up the steps, and onto the pool deck with almost no effort. WHAT!? Amanda made a scene about it, cheering for me and wanting a high five. Pretty sure I blushed like crazy. It was even the hot lifeguard’s duty, so he saw all of that. But it didn’t matter, I was just amazed at myself. How!? When!? Could I have done that last week? Probably! But I let that silly worry stop me from finding out about such a huge NSV. I’m going to learn to stop underestimating myself one day.

At that point, my whole day changed. I opened Facebook as I sat down to drip dry, planning to scroll through E2M posts and give out some good energy. Then I saw her post again. It had completely blown up. I was overwhelmed. Shocked. Mouth agape with the corners curled in a toothy smile. I sat on the bleachers and tears fell, hidden by the pool water on my face, so unbelievably moved by what I saw. It’s one thing to get a lot of comments or reactions to a post where I bear all and show progress pictures of this incredible journey I’m on. It is a whole other experience to see a simple statement about me receive such overwhelming response and support. What that did for my spirit is so hard to put into words that you will all have to wait until tomorrow when I have had time to finish writing it out. Tomorrow’s post won’t be about my day, it will be about y’all. Facebook throttles me when I try to react or comment to everyone, so I wasn’t even close to being able to express my gratitude on the post. I will go back days at a time to put reactions on every single comment from previous posts, just because I want every single one of you to know I read them, I’m uplifted by them, and my spirit flies high on the energy you give me. So expect a tear-jerker of a post tomorrow.

The remainder of my day was mostly experimenting with vegetables and fruits to find out which ones I have been able to get my taste to handle again, as it has been slightly improving for the past week. Unfortunately, the only vegetable I can eat now that I couldn’t last week is broccoli. Carrots, zucchini, onions and spinach were all still no gos. And still no fruits I can eat except grapefruit. I’ll keep trying each week in hopes to find things I don’t need anything added to it while I try to wait patiently to see the specialist in October. I did taxes, I colored, I spent time with my goofy toddler and enjoyed every moment of my day.

There are 86,400 seconds in a day. Your brain is capable of processing information and reacting in less than a second. You have over EIGHTY THOUSAND opportunities every single day to have a positive reaction to life. Make sure you’re taking at least one of those chances and make every day better.

Pictures are post-cry. I turned sideways and realized this is the first time in 15 years that my stomach doesn’t stick out further than my boobs, and my butt (that I have been working so very hard to build) is past my back. I am finally finding my figure again.