Daydream

A gentle, cool breeze tosses a wayward curl across her closed eyes, tickling her eyelashes. She squints to loosen their tangle, continuing to slowly breathe in and out. The damp and unseasonably crisp air leaves tiny droplets upon her lip as she exhales through her nose. The sky has lightened but the sun has yet to break over the horizon so lonely, bright stars still speckle the sapphire sky. Crickets are singing their chorus, and the distant traffic hums softly. A sudden visit from a curious crow plucks her from a daydream. Her meticulous breathing is interrupted by a long sigh. 

The night had brought warning that stress was gaining ground, like a dust cloud billowing over the dunes. Left to advance, it would soon darken her mind. So she woke from the same nightmare that has plagued her since childhood and knew today had to be her own. Distraction, responsibility and her role as a cornerstone fell off her shoulders as she rose from bed. Today, the universe must revolve around her. Resigned to attending none but herself, she left her home to find solitude and a place to draw energy from the earth. 

A small clearing with towering trees and plush grass seemed to radiate the very energy she needed. She removed her sandals and wiggled her toes, the tips silently shifting the dirt beneath the blades. She tried to recall the last time her feet had touched the soil but no memory came to mind. Too long, obviously. Arms wide and heels planted, she drew breath slowly and deliberately, holding it for several seconds before exhaling as her arms returned to her side. 

She folded her legs beneath her and sat with them crossed, leaning back onto her palms placed down against the earth. Meditation was not one of her talents, but she would attempt it. Clearing the mind is an art, one she often bumbled. Several minutes in, her mind still running, she chose a new focus. If she could not clear her mind, she would build a sanctuary within it.  She constructed herself as she felt, not as she was. Her soul and body feel mismatched. The soul is free, eager, capable and boundless; her body is heavy, fractured, limited and stubborn. She feels caged, trapped inside herself. But in this carefully fabricated space in her mind, her body and soul are uniform, the will and the way both strong and sturdy. 

This new harbor inspired her. She saw herself move gracefully, her soul and body fluidly cooperating. She ran across the field, both legs evenly supporting her. She stood straight, reached for the sky and no part of her faltered or swayed. For hours, she perceived herself as she could be, a truly peaceful smile on her face reaching to her heavy-lidded eyes. In this daydream, she could do anything she thought to do, with her body strong enough to follow her soul’s lead. She cartwheeled across the clearing and took a bow for an imagined audience. A chuckle nearly broke through her silence. 

The dream ended as the crow on a limb above her called out. Startled from her rest, the long sigh signaled her return to reality. Shakily climbing to her feet, the crow kept calling, like an alarm with no snooze. “A robin or wren would have been much better company,” she thinks as she replaces her sandals. As she walks to the car, her legs ache and back clicks with each step, and her captive soul begins to flicker, short-circuited by this body that can’t keep up. “Yet,” she cooed, to embolden her spirit. Because what she had seen was not a past, it was not a fantasy, it was her future. Restored and calm, her flame had been fanned. 

Take time to daydream. Imagine who you are, where you want to be. Watch yourself be the best version of you. Hold that memory, your future, and let every day, every meal, every workout add a stone to the path to get there. Thank your body for sticking with you even if you treated it poorly before, and promise it your best. Let no one stop you. Shine so brightly that the shadows in your life can’t touch you.