Rest In Piece, Neck Holes

Dearly beloved, I have gathered you here to pay your respects to my neck muscles. May we remember them fondly. I’ll never forget the joy they brought me for the 12 hours that I had them.

Alright folks. I have a PSA for those of you who are like “oooh! A muscle I’ve never seen before!” as you lose weight. New muscles are super cool! However, obsessively flexing them all day so you can bask in their majesty is not cool. I sit here writing this post as icy hot permeates my flesh to attempt to breathe life back into my ill-fated neck bands. I’ve never had anything to flex before! Who knew flexing could be so dangerous!

Today wasn’t anything to write about, really. Woke up with my back in a lot of pain. I’ve probably been pushing myself too hard. I got up to do my morning walk anyway and by the time I got back, I was hunched again so I was forced to let my back rest today. I was extremely irritated by it and it led to me getting upset over pretty much everything else. I had a tiny pity party over my neck, back and my smell and taste dysfunction. But I pulled out of it and started looking at the positives. My taste and smell problem makes it easier to resist junk food, since nearly everything tastes like eating from a garbage pail. So, in a way, it has been a blessing. I haven’t had to deal with cravings often! My neck will make a funny story to tell later. My back meant extra time with my kiddo today. Why be pitying myself when I’m gaining even from my struggles?

While talking to my friend today, I told her what I eat like. She scrunched her nose and said, “don’t you miss eating like a normal person?” I quickly shook my head no. “Normal” eating got me into this shape. The American diet was a death sentence for me. I’ve heard this from people in different programs I’ve tried before, and I’ve said it myself—I want to eat like normal people do. Now I know, I sure as hell don’t want to! Normal never did a damn thing for me. If you’re in that boat, where you just think you don’t want to eat like this forever, you just want to have a normal diet— ask yourself “What has normal ever done for me?”

What we do here ain’t normal. It’s optimal. If you’re not striving for optimal, you’re not doing your best for yourself, and it is felt by the people you love as well. We can have normal, or we can have our best life. Don’t know about you, but I’m alright with being -different.-

((Edit to add by “normal” I mean what is the average. Not that we’re all a bunch of weirdos. Well, I mean, I am. But that’s not the point. I meant that compared to the average diet, we aren’t normal, even though we eat “normal” food. Normal is, ironically, a very relative term.))