Write This Down

**Quick edit. I don’t know the date. Ever. The picture on the right was today, and I just learned today is the 8th. Sorry!**

Y’all. We about to get real. Some tough love, hard truths, and kick ass inspiration is heading your way. Steel yourselves and be ready to hear something you might need but don’t want to hear. This early afternoon post is brought to you by Unexpected Vet Visits, Inc. Not a real thing but sounds better than “I’m stuck at the vet with a dog having a full-blown period 2 weeks after being spayed.”

Sometimes things happen right when we need them. Those things are double the blessing since a lot more things happen right when we don’t need them! I was feeling pretty depleted last night. My emotional energy was drained, and I knew I’d have to make the time to recharge today. I ended up not having to make the time at all. While doing my extra pool cardio this morning after class, a sweet old woman I haven’t seen before was wading nearby as I bike pedaled across the deep end. We struck up a conversation that left me with gratitude, encouragement and a full charge. I invited her to come do the class with me Wednesday after she admitted she wanted to do more but wasn’t a very social person and was worried she may hurt herself doing the activities wrong. I assured her she could stick near me if she was overwhelmed and if she needed to modify something, I’d help her. Not only did this encounter leave me feeling refueled, it gave me another opportunity to do what I love, encourage someone.

As I was getting my suit on this morning, I was paying attention to how it fit. I wiggled a little and noticed that other than my boobs, not a single stitch of my swimsuit touches my body. It’s just hanging there. Damn, that realization felt good. It was skintight when I started this journey.

I got 90 minutes of cardio and 45 minutes of strength training in today. I was amazed my body woke up ready to go this morning after how hard I worked yesterday. But she’s addicted and doing everything I need her to do. I’m so grateful for this imperfect and awkwardly shaped body of mine that continues to surprise me. She was already a warrior, I just had to catch up to her.

On my way out of the pool, I stopped to grab a quick picture because I knew I hadn’t taken a full picture in my suit in about a week and I didn’t take a body pic at all yesterday. I held the phone up, snapped a quick one and followed my new friend out. I called my adopted great aunt on the way home and left her a snarky little message about how she still wasn’t coming to the gym with us, and she may be old, but she had already had plenty of time to think and I wanted an answer. She called me back a few minutes later and the first words were “Listen here, little girl…” and I giggled at her. She told me she would be joining us starting next Monday. I’m so happy she is. She is 71, has several serious health issues and I can’t wait to have her getting healthier so I can enjoy her spunky and inappropriate behavior as long as possible.

I got home and looked at the picture I took. My jaw dropped. Literally dropped. I just stared at myself. But is it actually me? My immediate thought was “Who the heck is that??” It’s me. That’s actually me. Not posed, not a carefully selected selfie, just a raw, quick pic of me. And that’s what I look like. I blew my own mind. And you can see below what I mean.

This is what you need to know. I’ve busted my ass for 6 weeks. I’ve put everything I had into it. Pain, sickness, family issues, heartbreak—I have showed up every damn day and made the best of it. No excuses. Tuned out the world. Dodged negativity like a ballerina. I gave myself all the love. I absorbed all the advice and encouragement. I MADE A WAY. And let me tell you, there is ALWAYS a way. If you haven’t found it, it’s not because it’s not there. Write this down if you need to, because these are the best motivators I’ve spoken to myself through this.

Stop telling yourself lies.

You’re better than your excuses.

Somehow, some way, be better every day.

You must be the center of your universe.

Your only competition is yourself yesterday.

If you’re struggling, message someone. Message the coaches, message someone who inspires you, message someone who will boost you. Don’t wallow, don’t give up, don’t give in, just reach out. And for the sake of everything beautiful in this world, love yourself enough to DO THIS.