Bizzare Morning

I had a bizarre morning that jarred me enough that I forgot I was going to post in the AM instead of tonight. So afternoon it is.

I was jolted awake a little after 2am this morning by my little one having a nightmare. Husband tried to get her back to sleep but she wasn’t having it. We all stayed up together until about 4:30 at which point I fell back to sleep. I woke up at 6:30 when she finally wanted to go back to bed. So it was a late start to my normal routine. My back was much improved this morning and I wasted zero time getting into my swimsuit and out the door before any excuses could pop up in my head.

I got to Dunkin’, got my order from the lovely barista and proceeded into the Walgreens parking lot to eat and Facebook. About 20 minutes later, just before sunrise, a car pulls into this otherwise empty lot and parks a couple of spaces from me. From my peripheral vision, I see a man in dark clothing and a cap get out of the car, close his door and then turn to walk my direction. I turned my head slightly and noticed he was walking to -my- car, one hand behind his back in his waistband. I leaned forward and glared at him. He startled at my movement, met my gaze and then promptly turned around and hurried back to his car, his hand still in the waistband of his pants, got in and pulled off. I don’t know what he was going to do, but it made my skin crawl. I had to sit there for a minute and collect my thoughts, my brain whirring trying to figure out what just happened. My stomach still turns when I relive it. I will be looking into some personal protection after that experience.

I went ahead to the gym, snapped my usual selfie for my arm progress documentation, got my music going and hopped in the pool. The exercise calmed my thoughts as I counted reps and focused on feeling my muscles through each one. I felt great in the water, but I’ll be damned if my back didn’t start screaming again once I got out. I guess that’s just how it’s going to have to be because I’m not missing out on any more exercise. If I have to get someone to help me to the car, by God that’s what I’ll do. For that 90 minutes every day, I’m able to focus on myself, talk myself up and restore my energy and mental focus. I need it too much to sit out any more days.

After the gym, I got to spend time with my Nana and my brother, who my daughter is always so enamored with when he’s around. We all talked and watched Bryn play. While sitting outside on my Nan’s patio furniture, I looked down and truly saw how much less of my stomach there is. The last time I sat there was in May during my daughter’s birthday party, and I couldn’t see my feet, couldn’t bend over while sitting there, couldn’t hold my daughter on my knee because it was buried under my stomach. How incredible to see how different it is now. I can see my toes, I can reach to the ground, and there’s room on my knees/thighs for my daughter to sit with her mommy. What a blessing.

I came home and went to get my comparison picture done and experienced something I’ve only felt one other time from looking at myself. Just a moment of “who is that??” I barely recognize my body. For years, I have been so wide that my head and arms looked like two sticks and a softball in comparison. I’m beginning to look proportioned and more… “human” is the only word I can think of. And my shoulders and chest! Man, they’re getting so tough and lean. I had learned to love my body before, but seeing my body reflect the better choices I make makes me love it even more. I’m grateful for what it is doing for me every day.

Thank your body, love it, love its imperfections and its pains. It’s literally carrying you through life. Be good to it, make the right choices for it because it has your back! (Pun fully intended.)