Mom Guilt

The devil is a penny-pincher. He sat on my shoulder today and said, “you paid $13 for that meal for your daughter…you can’t let her waste it.” Mom guilt hit me hard and I ended up finishing off my daughter’s entree outside my eating window and it had a few —shhh— forbidden ingredients. She didn’t like it and it was so expensive and so much waste that I ate it. Mom guilt is a real struggle for me…reconciling the idea of wasting money or wasting food in a world where poverty and hunger are prolific. I used to feed it to the dogs but then they got too chunky.

I had another entire day that I thought was not the day it was. I think subconsciously, I had to have known it was Sunday because I didn’t go to the gym first thing but I kept saying it was Saturday. I eagerly and with much fidgeting and tiny bounces kept waiting for the mail to arrive. It never did. My grandmother had to remind me that an entire day had passed since I had sent her some things on Facebook and then it finally dawned on me that I was in the future. Someone must have stolen my Friday so I’m playing catch-up.

It was a nice rest day. I finished sorting my clothing and getting out all the things that are too big now (squee!!) and even found a bunch of clothes from about 8 years ago that actually fit now (more squee!!). That’ll help ease the burden on my wallet as I continue losing weight. I think I’m going to try to teach myself to sew so I can just alter my nice clothing rather than buy new pieces every month. Then I can fix my old handmade childhood quilt as well and pass it on to my daughter someday as an heirloom. Maybe I’ll even get good enough to make my own quilts and clothes one day as well! I love crafting and creating.

Star and I finalized our team for this round today! I’m so excited to fight alongside these women and help them achieve their best. I never felt a real purpose in life until this program. And what I found is that my soul and spirit were meant to motivate and inspire others. It fulfills me and drives me forward and up! So blessed and grateful for this opportunity. I named our group “Inspire Fire” because that’s what I live for, and what I hope to pass on to NGs. I want to light people’s fires! By being real, vulnerable and posting in this group, I have the opportunity to do just that while also giving others the opportunity to stoke my own flame. I want as many fire lighters in this community as possible! #inspirefire

I hope you’re enjoying your holiday weekend and sticking to your goals. Your health doesn’t go on vacation, but it can certainly give you a whole lot more of them. Take care of you, every day. Here’s a #faceoff for a progress pic!