Spirit Willing

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I wish my body was as willing as my spirit. I suppose that’s probably true of everyone at the beginning of their journey. But man, if my body could do what my spirit is longing to do, I’d be climbing mountains. But that’s why I’m here, and I’ll get to that point some day!
My day started out well enough. Haven’t worn my two piece in about a week and the swim shorts I just got a couple of weeks ago are too big now. I kept having to pull them up as I walked. It’s weird to me that when my clothes fit, I’m pretty confident in them, but once they get too big, I become self-conscious in them. Seems kind of backward to me, but that’s been my experience so far. After grabbing breakfast, I headed to the gym. I had to stop once on the walk from the car to the pool to open my vertebrae but I’m not letting that get me down. I have come too far to be stopped.
I had a nice workout. I’m so glad the people who come into the pool, including my Nana and Amanda, let me finish it because if I start talking, I lose track of what I’m doing. Sometimes I have to keep my eyes closed because even the lifeguards walking by will throw me off my counts or rhythm. I need to get a blindfold that says “Y’all too cute, I can’t look.” Today, I really worked my abs well, visualizing their movement since I can’t actually see them. I was pressing on my stomach afterward and I can actually feel them! Multiple ones! That’s one of the very emotional parts of my journey is that I can’t see most of my muscle progress other than my forearms and calves because I still have so much fat left on top of them. But they are there, just waiting to shine once I shed these decades of obesity.
I required more pain meds today, which meant I couldn’t stay awake all day. I fell asleep around 3:30 this afternoon and woke up at 7. I always worry that I won’t be able to sleep at night after that but my body has become so accustomed to my sleep schedule that it usually is ready for bed again not long after. I’m going to go spend some time with my family before they go to bed. I hope you all have a great Wednesday!
First picture below is that first day I -had- to wear a two piece to the gym, and felt horrible in it. Now I -prefer- it. Body confidence win!



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