Third Degree Exhaustion

I was not cut out for teaching. Of all the necessary skills I lack, patience is chief among them. The frustration of trying to keep a toddler engaged, behaving and relatively quiet has become detrimental to my mental health. Day 4 and I’m already looking into preschools. I don’t want to stop writing, but I’m genuinely mentally bankrupt by the end of the day so I’m going to start posting each morning instead, while I eat breakfast. The morning inspiration may be better for me anyway!

I’m so thankful for my teammates #inspirefire for keeping me smiling and positive every chance I get to look at my chats. Their positivity and determination help keep mine alive.

Between the chaos of trying to teach my headstrong and witty child and another day of back pain, I nearly let the day go to waste. I caught myself thinking as I used to… that letting a day go here and there wouldn’t hurt anything. That thinking is exactly what has always made one day become two, or three, and then ultimately be the end of my progress. I couldn’t do back/legs so I did what I could, some upper body exercise. Lats and curls. It felt good to do something, but I need to do better. I’ve decided if my back is still this bad in the morning, I’ll just take my old walker with me to the gym so I can get inside and to the pool. I know I’ll be 100% in the pool but the last two days, I haven’t even had the capacity in my back to get from the parking lot and through the gym to get to the pool. I have let that stop me from using assistance to go in, but not anymore. If I need the walker, screw it, I’ll take it in.

I have been so distracted by the life I’m living that I’ve let the visions of the life I want fade into the background. It’s crucial to keep your goals at the front of your mind. Without those constant thoughts of the things you want to accomplish, complacency will take over. Keep your goals ever in your vision so that your determination and fire remain strong. My goal for the rest of this week is to make sure I set aside at least 10 minutes 2-3 times a day to stop and focus on my goals, to daydream about the future I want and to put myself first.

Keep dreaming, friends! Very tired post upper body. I was trying to flex my traps, but they said “naaaaaah we tired too.”