Abundant Rewards

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The longer the journey, the harder the trip. The further away your goal, the harder it is to see.
I began this journey about as far away from the finish line as one can get. Immobile, 400 pounds, crippled with pain, depressed, weak and with no respect or love for me. Looking toward my goal feels like trying to see the shore across the ocean; so far away that it was lost over the horizon. I know it’s there, but I’ve never seen it. I’ve been obese since 3rd grade; I’ve never been healthy or fit. I can’t even imagine my goal, but I am ever chasing after it.
This is where small goals really help. Like mile markers on the highway, these achievements mark our progress so when we struggle with the road ahead, we can pause to look back and see the ground we have covered and conquered along the way. For me, those little milestones, that I have decorated with celebration and joy, encourage me to journey forward, to leave the next stone, and the next, and the next. Just as you look forward to celebrations—birthdays, holidays, vacation— look forward to and get excited about those milestones. Pause to celebrate them and yourself, and then hype it up for the next one. Write a card to yourself and open it when you’ve reached the next one, wrap a gift to give yourself, plan something to celebrate at every success because it will motivate you to chase the next one.
Though the road is long for me, that also means my rewards are abundant. I’m excited about this hard road because I appreciate each rest stop to praise and love myself. And this is the key to the long haul: to love yourself at every moment, to celebrate yourself at every accomplishment, no matter how small you may see it.
Today’s picture really helped me appreciate all of my small goals I achieved, all of my surprise NSVs. I haven’t worn these sizes in about 8 years. The midrise isn’t really my thing because I don’t have enough junk in the trunk yet to hold them up properly in the back so I’ll be putting them away until I’ve gotten small enough to wear them higher, but they fit. I was amazed at myself. I’ve been struggling with body image this round, because I’m beginning to have that “lost a lot of weight” body shape but this small goal, these shorts, reminded me my body is still changing and to give it grace.
Hope you all have a great week. These last few weeks are tough but worth every bit of the nausea you’ll feel towards greens for a while.



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