Preaching

I’m getting ready to do some preaching. It ain’t Sunday, but I’m going to let loose the fire. If you don’t want to feel uncomfortable or pull some scales off your eyes today, skip to the end where I’ll just list off my goals for next round. I’ve been tackling the challenge I mentioned a couple posts ago, and in so, I’ve been thinking about and formulating a lot of tough questions and truths.

I’ve been working hard to motivate myself. While other people inspire me, motivation comes from within. This truth hit pretty hard to me. After all, the program is called “Eager to Motivate” so surely that means motivation can come from outside myself, yeah? It was already something I felt broken for— if motivation so easily comes from watching others or their words, why does my motivation ever wane when I’m in this incredible group of superstars and encouragers? Then, while re-watching Dr. Resi’s lives, she said something that finally connected the dots for me. Paraphrasing here but the message was: “Motivation isn’t a feeling. It’s the result of the right choices and consistently making them. If you keep waiting for motivation, you’ll be waiting the rest of your life.” Oh. Well, that makes sense. I get inspired by others, I get inspired by my wants and goals, and I am -supported- by them, but none of those things -propel- me forward. My choices are what motivate me. My choice to feel better. My choice to be better. My choice to show up every day and make a post. While I find encouragement and inspiration and support from external sources, the only thing that will, or even -can- motivate me is ME. Jeez, the very word begins and ends with M-E. I suppose this knowledge was already in me because I named my first team “Inspire Fire.” Deep down, I already knew I couldn’t give someone motivation (incentive, sure, but not drive), but I could aim to inspire the fire inside them that will create their motivation. So, for everyone who has shared with me or has said “I just wish I could get motivated,” stop waiting for it to come. Start making the choices and being consistent with them so you can create that motivation.

In a similar fashion, I’ve asked myself “Why are my goals not making me feel more motivated?” Let me tell you something about goals. Goals are usually a good thing. They give us a heading. But they do -not- give us a map, nor the lessons to drive. Know what does? Being coachable, choosing the right path, making consistent progress (see there? There is your drive, inside, not out). If you don’t have a map, will turning your car in the direction you want to go get you to your heading? Obviously not. You’re gonna wreck your car, you’re going to get stranded, you’re going to run out of fuel. If you haven’t learned to drive, or worse, if you hate driving, even if you have a map, are you going to get to your heading? Nope. Same results as before. But now, imagine you’ve learned to drive, you enjoy the experience of driving, and you have a detailed directions of exactly to go, but no heading, do you think you’ll find the destination? Inarguably, yes. You don’t need to know where exactly you’re going to get there when you have the instructions and you love the journey, no matter how far it goes. Your goals are no different. You can love, trust and stick to the process while ignoring the goal but still reach the destination, but you will never make it to your goal if you try to ignore the process.

Loving simple food. Loving fasting. Loving exercise. Loving mental fitness. You probably think I’m crazy. I’m a little on the fence about whether I also think I’m crazy. But much like learning to enjoy driving a car is a crucial first step before packing up and heading across country, learning to love your health journey is an important first step to reaching your goal and maintaining your success. How do you maintain a goal? You reach it and then you’re done, right? No. Goals can feel like setting yourself up for success, then arriving to see you actually set yourself up for failure by thinking your goal was static. “I got here, now what?” If you haven’t enjoyed the journey, if you never learned to enjoy the process, you’re going right back to your old habits, expecting that reaching your goal will have changed your life. The goal didn’t change your life, the drive, the process, changed your life. If you aren’t in love with driving a car, you’re not going to want to keep driving. If you aren’t in love with the process of health, you’re not going to keep pushing for better health. Your goals are like winning a game. If you don’t love the sport itself, you’re not going to keep playing, no matter how many times you win.

Anyway! I’ll step down now, but you can expect more of these “ah ha!” moments to leak into my posts this week as I keep facing this new challenge of calming the storm in my soul. My post from yesterday was removed so I am just reposting my results in this post. The whole house, and even the whole extended family are sick, so we are buckling down and quarantining until we are all clear of symptoms, so no gym pictures for a while. It’s a hard decision for me, but I have to be responsible to not spread this.

My goals for round 3:

-No weighing. None.

-Be comfortable in a size 18 top, size 20 pants.

-Ditch insulin.

-8 weeks of zero spoken negativity.

-Reach a level of health that I can relatively safely have surgeries I have needed for a long time and couldn’t because of my size.