Accountability Partners are Priceless

I’m glad I posted yesterday. And of course, I knew I would be, but it didn’t feel like it in the moment. People who don’t post and don’t reach out to others in the group really are missing out on the best part of the program. The connections are beautiful and so, so worth putting ourselves out there.

I spent some time texting Anna last night. When I have a lot on my plate and I need to be heard without worrying about it hurting someone else’s progress or mood, she’s my go to. I could literally lay in the floor and be all the negative things in the world and that girl would find a way to pick my big ol butt up and it not cause her to stumble—metaphorically of course because I’m sure physically, she would likely break trying to literally lift me. Anyway! After a much-needed non-professional therapy session, my head was back on straight. I decided I’m not going to hide in the house for three weeks until the trip because, clearly, that was not helpful for my mental or physical health. So, my compromise was to simply start doing everything in the wee hours of the mornings where I generally won’t come into contact with people.

So that means getting to the gym as soon as they open and having the locker room and pool to myself. Instead of enjoying my coffee in the car with some audiobooks or music in the mornings, I’m just taking it to go. I missed that serene time this morning but I’ll try to find a way to have it at some other point in the day. I resumed my regular workout this morning while catching up on Jeff and Resi lives. I even did love standing abs with Mandy, minus the windmills since I didn’t want to drown. I need to try doing more of the videos in the pool instead of just my normal routine. On the way out, I checked my phone and had a lovely gift that made my whole week. Thank you, friend.

Mawa is still down, for those who have been checking in on her. The vet said she just had a nasty UTI (probably the same one she had post-surgery but they never rechecked), but I’ve never seen a dog be so completely checked out just from a UTI. She’s severely depressed and does not even want to leave her bed. I hope she’s on the mend. If she isn’t better tomorrow, we will be going back to the vet again.

Just something else on my mind today…I have been thinking a lot about body image and labels lately. Like always, but more specifically how my view of others has changed as my view of myself changed. I don’t see people as their figures or their muscles or their weight. Not that any of these things every mattered to me before, but that they were noticeable and to some very subconscious degree, they influenced some of my internal reactions—affability, personality, attractiveness, predisposition, etc. But being who I am, and in this body, I have come to understand even more fully how little the exterior of our bodies has any concrete indication of our spirits. It has really changed how I interact with people, because I have made a conscious effort to shed those subconscious assumptions about people, and it has made my own life much better.

Alright, back to my regularly schedule mom duties. Thanks again for the support yesterday. Unfortunately, I did a horrible job of taking pictures this morning so this one is the best I got, the swimsuit ones were too blurry. I think my hoodie got bigger. Wait, no, it’s the 12 pounds I’ve lost since that last picture!