Downsizing

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We are currently in the process of completely rearranging our house (mostly due to the amount of gifts my daughter got for Christmas and completing the home gym), so I think I forgot to post yesterday. 

I’m not feeling well, again. Another fever today for no reason, irritated stomach and the cough just will not go away. I went to the gym and did the damn thing plus some anyway. I usually stay 90 minutes but I decided to stay an extra 30 to do part of the water aerobics class with Amanda. I came home and dealt with an unreasonably high heart rate for a couple of hours. It’s still elevated but tolerable now. I see the doctor again in the morning to try to figure out a medication that will help me with my heart rate without tanking my blood pressure. The current one clearly didn’t work. 🥲

I had a great success today. Many of you know, when I first started E2M, I had to take “showers” sitting on my toilet. After the first 20lbs of weight loss, I finally was confident enough to take showers inside the shower with a chair. Over the last several months, I’ve kept that chair in the shower, mostly out of fear. Afraid of my back giving out or leg going numb and not having it to sit down. And I have always sit down to dry, not wanting to push my luck. This past weekend, I decided I wanted to conquer that fear. And today, I did! No chair in the shower! I took my shower, I dried, I put my hair cream in and I got dressed, all without a chair. Truthfully, I probably could have done that months ago, but I let the anxiety of it convince me I couldn’t. 

I also did one more brave thing. I finally threw out my insulin pens. I haven’t taken any insulin in about 6 weeks, but I finally got up the courage to toss them and accept that I’m not a diabetic anymore. That’s my new reality: I am not a diabetic! 

I am new. And man, it feels good.

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