What Food Means

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I had some private family issues the last few days, which is why I disappeared. I was pretty much down for the count with pneumonia anyway so it wouldn’t have been much to talk about. This morning, I finally felt capable, physically and emotionally, to get back to my routine. 

Let me tell you about my treat meal yesterday first. My taste went bye bye again on Saturday so when I got a hint of it yesterday, I went ahead and had my treat meal. I had a giant burrito with all the toppings, rice, beans and half a bag of snowball M&Ms. I’m still not used to not being a diabetic. I thoroughly enjoyed my meal, but I sat there waiting for the glucose spike that would put me in bed or rushing for my insulin (I can’t get myself to throw it away). It never happened. So an hour and a half after my meal, I checked my blood sugar, and it was 130. WHAT. My body is finally capable of doing the thing on its own. It feels amazing to be able to say that. 

That experience echoes what I was talking to Anna about the other day. Food is fuel…I never understood the real meaning of that. I’ve always just eaten to eat for the most part, and when I ate because of actual hunger, I still indulged on foods that I just wanted for the taste or experience. Above all else, food has always been gratification or an experience for me, not fuel for my body even if it was part of the deal, and usually it made me tired, not energetic. Food is all new to me, especially post-diabetes recovery. I eat when I’m hungry, when my blood sugar starts to fall and I feel the physical need for it. Then I eat and I have -energy- because I didn’t stuff myself with junk or overeat, but because I made a pit stop. I was running low, got a refill, and then kept driving. I don’t need naps after eating, I don’t have to medicate myself for my food choices, and I don’t have to full stop and make it an experience. And maaaan, when I break my fast, I can feel my body come back to life from its resting state. Rather than have to work its way back from my food choices, my body easily converts them to the fuel I need and thanks me for it with life-giving energy. 

Anyway! I did end up needing my inhaler this morning to deal with exercising. But I needed to move my body. And my back needed the traction from the pool. It felt so, soooo good to be in the water. Couple of comparison pics today! The second one is from my first day joining the Y until today. 

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